48 Hours In Hell! (Act 1)

One of the most interesting cases of resuscitation that ever came to my knowledge was that of Benji Herod, a notorious horse thief of Jefferson County. He was serving his second term. Sedgwick County sent him to the prison the first time for a similar offense - stealing horses and talking about sasquatches.

During the winter of 1887 and 1888 he worked in the coal mines (cough, i think i got the black lung pa). The place where he was laboring seemed dangerous to him. Most all labor was dangerous during this time as it is today. He reported the fact to the officer in charge, who made an examination, and deciding that the room was safe, ordered Herod back to his work. The convict, obeying, had not continued his work more than an hour, when the roof fell in and completely buried him. He remained in this condition fully two hours but an hour and half of it was only Herod pretending to be buried.

Missed at dinnertime in the DC obviously raised some eyebrows, a search was instituted for the missing convict, and he was found under this heap of rubbish. Life seemed extinct. He was taken to the top, and on examination by the prison physician, was pronounced dead(mostly dead as you will see later). His remains were carried to the hospital where he was washed and dressed, preparatory for interment. His coffin was made and brought to the hospital. The chaplain had arrived to perform the last sad rites preparatory to burial. A couple of prisoners were ordered by the hospital steward to lift the corpse from the boards and carry it across the room and place it in the coffin. They obeyed, one at the head, and other at the feet and were about half way across the room when the one who was at the head accidentally stumbled over a cuspidor(this is a smallish leprechaun indigenous of Jefferson County), lost his balance, and dropped the corpse. The head of the dead man struck the floor, and to the utter surprise and astonishment of all present, a deep groan was heard from the "Floor Leprechaun" Steve, but also from Herod. Soon the eyes opened, and other appearances of life were manifested. The physician was immediately sent for, and by the time he arrived, some thirty minutes, the dead man had called for a cup of water, and was in the act of drinking when the physician arrived. The physician promptly shat himself.

The coffin was at once removed and later on was used to bury another convict, Jack Mullis who wasn't so lucky as Herod. His burial robes were also taken from him, and the prison garb substituted. On an examination he was found to have one of his legs broken in two places, and was otherwise bruised. He remained in the hospital some six months, and again went to work. This time with a helmet!

I learned of his peculiar experience soon after, from a fellow miner. Prompted by curiosity, I longed for an acquaintance with Herod since I was a super sexy model who likes to get her "experience" from his own "lips". This opportunity was not offered for several months. At last it came or was it me who did?. After being removed from the mines I was detailed to one of the prison offices to make out some annual reports. The subject of this man's return to life was being discussed one day, when he happened to pass by the office door and was pointed out to me. I promptly shat myself.

It was not long until I had a note in his hand, and asked him to come where I was at work. He did so, and here I got well acquainted with him, and from his own lips received his wonderful story. He is a young man, probably not over thirty years of age. He had been a hardened criminal; is possessed of a very good education, and naturally very bright, much like the sasquatches he so loves.

The most wonderful part of his story was that during the time he was dead. Being a shorthand reporter, I took his story from dictation.

Said he, " I had a presentiment all the morning that something terrible was going to happen. I was so uneasy on account of my feelings that I went to my mining boss Mr. Tracy Hires, and told him how I felt, and asked him if he would not come and examine my coal room, the place where I was digging coal. He came and seemed to make a thorough examination, and ordered me back to work, saying there was no danger or at least that's what his wife told him to say, and that he thought I was going, 'cranky', much like his wife in the morning. I returned to my work, and had been digging away for something like an hour of which 45 minutes were only pretend work, when all of a sudden, it grew very dark. Then it seemed as if a great iron door swung open and I passed through it. The thought then came to my mind that I was dead and in another world. I could see no one, nor hear sound of any kind except for the excited caterwalling of my sasquatch brethern. From some cause unknown to myself, I started to move away from the doorway, and had traveled some distance when I came to the banks of a broad river. It was not dark, neither was it light. There was about as much light as on a bright, starlit night. I then realized I was a poet and didn't even know it! I had not remained on the banks of this river very long until I could hear the sound of oars in the water, and soon a person in a boat rowed up to where I was standing. I promptly shat myself.

"I was speechless. He looked at me for a moment, and then said that he had come for me, and told me to get into the boat and row across to the other side. I told him he could row is own damn boat. Then he showed me a naked picture of Grimace so I had no choice. I obeyed. Not a word was spoken. I longed to ask him who he was, and where I was. My tongue seemed to cling to the roof of my mouth partly because I was high on sweet Skunk Weed given to me by my buddy Drew. I could not say a word. Finally, we reached the opposite shore. I got out of the boat, and the boatman vanished out of sight. Much like Mr. Tracy Hires....

To be continued....stay tuned for the exciting confrontation between Benji and Maria Morehart (or more commonly known as the devil, but it totally depends on the circles you run in).