I want your vote!

i am so glad that i voted for him. hey, if i was president i would hook up all you fools. derol would be my head of the National T-shirt Design Department. i would wear a silly shirt that derol made every saturday while i was in office. things like "i'm crying because my son is gay" and "i need a suck vacation".

i would make sam my head of the National Make-Fun-of-People-Under-Your-Breath Department. i would say something under my breath that sam would write about world leaders that would be heard only by those people with a sense of humor, namely myself and my dog chloe.

i would make jon my head of the National Date-Your-Friends-Sister Department. this would be a super secret department that only the friends of your friend's sister that you're dating would know about. so we could all sit around and laugh at him, secretly. and it would play on CNN, but only when that friend wasn't watching.

i would make jack my head of the FCC. cause really, that's what he would want and i'm all about giving my friends what they want. he could play the janet jackson thing like at noon on saturday and at the end when justin tears off her boob it would pause there for like 5 minutes. just enough to desensitize your children. yeah jack!

as for me, well i would just make up National vacation days starting with the Call in Sick Memorial Holiday. this would be every monday until aliens destroy the earth. see this is smart because employers think that someday they will have their employees back once aliens destroy the earth, but aliens don't exist so that will never happen. pretty genius huh? yeah, i've got tons of these ideas. you'd vote for me right?