Saturday, September 30, 2006
Something for you "English Majors"
Was Benji the only one? Jon?
Whatever- they're still classic.
And also, I can only read 2 sentences into Benji's last post before I give up as well.
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge
at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having
left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River
18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land
mine or something.
23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
Whatever- they're still classic.
And also, I can only read 2 sentences into Benji's last post before I give up as well.
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge
at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having
left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River
18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land
mine or something.
23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
Friday, September 29, 2006
lol
i found this surfing the blogosphere. we get to look forward to these kids taking care of us when we're oldered...lol
im confused as shit and i swear i don't know what to do. i love him but he never seem to care. well oh well we never know.
lol i love love love love you but man i dunno anymore im hurting and u dont see it i love u but u dont see it coz ur blinded by something which is the reason im hurting now shit i'll never give up i'll just be here hiding lol maybe this aint the right time or maybe there is no right time for us lol we never know its this is hard lol coz i want u to be happy and i wanna see u happy lol we always end up like this lol but its ok sum1 told me like u kno him he's u kno just be careful coz i dont want to see you cry again awwww i dont want u hiding in your jacket again lol so yea i really wanna say thanx to u for always makin me laugh and of course thanx for listening to me and uhhh thanx for everythin
id give anything go anywhere when it comes to your love but the question that's burnin in my heart is whether its strong enough if u want me to stay there's somethin we gotta do honesty is a must ive got to trust if im not with u and i love it when its just the 2 of us layin around and i cant help i want u to myself the feelings gettin stronger now so i hope u feel the way i feel honesty is a must ive got to trust if im not wit u I hope your not disrespectin me Im hopin I'm everything u need and that all u wish for you'll find in me It's the way that you show show you care show that you love when your not with me aint nowhere that I belong
this is actually my song to you lol i love love love u lol seriously i do
so yea ima go to bed now coz im really sleepy its like 4.32 am now
uhuh yea gotta go
night night
love u love u
mMmMmUUuuuuuuAAAAAAAAhhhhhHHHHH
Friday, September 22, 2006
Friday, September 15, 2006
Indiana Jones and the She-Vixens of Berlin
you have to read this entire mock letter concerning Indy 4 and tell me what the funniest part of it was. i laughed out loud for a good minute at one point. let the hilarity ensue!
Musica divertido
i got the new mana cd and it is deliciously cheesy! i love it.
when they play the sb bowl, i'll fly out and we can all go to the show again.
jack you have to come, it'll be good times!
when they play the sb bowl, i'll fly out and we can all go to the show again.
jack you have to come, it'll be good times!
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Friday, September 08, 2006
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