Top Ten Chuck Norris Facts

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies
the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris' blood type is AK+. Ass-Kicking Positive. It is compatible only with heavy construction equipment, tanks, and fighter jets.

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

Psst! Derol?!

I've got the perfect girl for you! Here she is.

and the award for most dramatic...

...death goes to Noble Frye in "evil demon golfball from hell"
a film by rian johnson.

you'll have to wait a bit for it to load, but it's well worth it!

Derol, you're pop is a superstar!

Brick

www.brickmovie.net

My homie Rian, from High School did this movie last year for Sundance that got picked up by Focus Features, and is in theaters at the end of March. According to him, the main character is me, although I think I'm way prettier than Joseph Gorden Livitt.

geoff's new business venture

i must say, i knew that geoff was a talented mo fo, but i never knew his "bubbleology experience was a magical and mesmerizing delight." i'm so hiring him for Riley's 1st birthday. Sam, did you hire him for Madeira's party? was it wicked expensive? I would assume he'd give discounts to westmont alum....
check out this website too. the name itself screams geoff. read the "vendors and entertainers" section.

Booger Sugar for CHEAP!

now this is what i'm talking about!

mi paiz!

guatemala forever!

i totally know the guys that did this. some people from high school just never grow up...

Warning Labels

Pat Robertson, Dobson, Tipper Gore, and the AFA were so tired of us getting our grubby little hands on all this bad stuff- so they've teamed up with our Religous Government to put warning labels on everything... guess they may have gone a bit too far.

Hippity Hoppity Hop

happy new year loser mclosers! we played cranium and Trivial Pursuit "SNL" version, then sipped champagne and then went to bed. Yipee!

Get There!

happy new year, losers.

ESPN

So I don't suppose, by any act of god- you guys caught me on TV last night?

bonsai kitten

Awesome!!!!

here's to 206!

jack's a dork.
that's funny right?

well at least this is pretty funny...

Murcury in retrograde

So, I guess Murcury is in retrograde, and thats the reason everything shitty is happening right now. At least thats the explanation I got from Wendy's neighbor, Rya. Maybe Toddy, our newest astrologer can back me up?

I'm sure I'm not the only one experiencing lots of shitty things. Not that my shitty things are NEARLY as bad as some of the other shitty things that maybe happening to YOU... But the fortunate thing, from what I understand, is that it should all be getting better around the 23rd when the shittiest of the shitty things are supposed to happen, and then not be quite as shitty anymore after that. But if the REALLY shitty stuff is supposed to happen on the 23rd- we're all gonna be swimming in a big pile of shit- cause I dunno know about you, but the shit is getting pretty deep over here!

Speaking of Hani!

He TOTALLY just pulled a "Derol" but more by mistake than meliciously. I just sent him an email that he should fly down for JP Night, and he responded to everyone from an original email that included Wendy, Wendy's Sister, Wendy's Dad... basically a lot of Wendy's friends, etc...

Without further adue, the reply:

"Dude, you know what Airfare costs? Like a gazillion dollars and shit! You know what its like bording a plane with a name like Hani Faisal Saigh? My asshole still hasn't recovered from my last flight two years ago!!! Plus, whats keeping us from starting Jeopardy party night in P-Town?? You visit Jim but not Hani?? Thats fuck man, thats just plain fuck. I'm gonna fuck your girlfriend for that one."

i'll take AWESOME FRIGGIN HOLIDAYS for $400 alex

what is jeopardy party night yo!

The first President less Popular than Herpes

Get'em down to 19%!!!

Derol's ex...

derol. here's a picture of joy (you remember joy right?) and her mom...oh, wait...that's SALLY YO!!! Ah, SNAP!

fun with audio

this is me teasing riley. she gets all mad at me and starts crying cause i took away her "green hat" (that's her pacifier). at the end i totally give it back to her and she's happy once again. i'm the greatest dad ever!

funner with audio

you'll have to listen to the very end of this one. riley wasn't doing much when i started to tape her, but boy she sure makes up for it at the very end.
wait for it....wait for it...

getting any...

sleep benji?